Seems like every time I get on Facebook another one of my friends from home is getting engaged, or is about to get married, or pregnant with their first, second or even third child! At first I get excited for them, then I get sad that I’m not there to share it with them, then I panic because, shit- I’m 26 and I’m still living on own with no plans on settling down anytime soon. By the time my mother was my age…she already had me and my three siblings before me. I feel as though I am behind in life with no hope of catching up.
I’ve always wanted to be a young mom and to have a house full of kids. But now, I am realizing that while I still want a house full of kids, I also want to be able to pick up everything at a drop of a hat and go do something crazy like WWOOF in another country for a few months or (hopefully) have a job that will send me to work all over the world. I know it sounds silly that I am saying I can’t have one without the other….but I don’t think I can do one well with the other.
I feel a bit selfish because I am having too much fun being on my own. I like doing things that I want to do and not worry about anyone else. I don’t want to settle down anytime soon, when I think about getting married and buying a house and having a mortgage and sitting at a desk for the rest of my life I get a little panicky and depressed. This was one of the many reasons why I applied to the Peace Corps in the first place, I felt like that was the path that my life was on and it freaked me out.
So instead of worrying about how old I am, I’ve decided to categorize my life into decades. My 20s will be for being young and selfish, for travelling and sleeping on peoples floors, for being ridiculously poor, for going on adventures and meeting new people and having fun, and for finally going back to school to study what I’m passionate about. My 30s will be for having my shit together, getting a good job, paying off student loans, settling down, and being a bit more responsible.